'so you had a bad day' (and decided to write a giant email)

So I decided that until I had something good to write about again I would just forget about the whole blogging experience but sometimes you have a bad day or a string of bad days and sometimes as hard as you try the positive refuses to come out so instead this came out (slightly edited as it was origionally an email sent to a wonderfully understanding person who woke up this morning and read an essay then spent an hour talking to me about options and what can make life better)

Independence

Independence can mean a lot of different things. To some people it is the freedom to think and feel how they want. For others the ability to go wherever they want and for others it can be as simple as being able to tie their own shoe laces or make a cup of tea. Independence and equally dependence come in so many different guises and mean so many different things to different people that it is often a subject that we don’t really think about. That is until it forces itself into your consciousness and parades around shouting “look at me, look at me, bet you can’t catch me”, and the thing is often you can’t. It doesn’t matter how it rears its head, whether it’s in relation to a parent or grandparent or whether it affects you directly, once independence begins to slip away it is so hard to get it back.