For some reason, a week after surgery, I have suffered a major pain set-back. Having successfully reduced my pain killers with very little problem thus far I had a huge case of breakthrough pain Sunday night which came from no-where. Within 30 minutes I went from contentedly watching a film to literally writhing in agony. So for the past 42 hours I have been stuck in bed taking massive amounts of painkillers and moving as little as possible.
The nature of breakthrough pain is that it appears from no-where, often for no apparent reason and is very hard to get rid of. For me, this time it was very much focused in my right leg, hip and ankle to be specific in combination with the joyful existing pain from the bruising, swelling and 8” gash over my knee. In addition, the wonderful nerve pain was still being determinedly aggressive. All of this made for a very miserable and sleep free Sunday night followed by a full day of mental numbness Monday. Monday night went a little better in that between the two hourly painful wakeup call from my leg I did actually manage to sleep. However I am yet again ensconced in a dulled cocoon of pain and mental sluggishness.
As set-backs go this is far from unexpected but it is certainly not fun, hopefully the pain will soon be back in check and I will once again be desperately willing my leg back to health and stability. Until then I guess all I can do is lie back and be content with the brain fog and numb acceptance. I guess, being realistic, this may be my body’s way of convincing me to stop being so hard on myself. The truth is that regardless of how much I want the next few weeks to be over my body can only heal at its own rate. I may not have done anything to cause this particular flare up and I may see it as being a set-back but the reality is my body is giving me a reminder that patience is the only option right now.
On the bright side, while I am unable to get around right now I have at least got pretty much everything I could need right by my side.
Sometimes a little foresight can make life just a little bit easier. I don’t hold out much hope that I will be able to get back up and around in the next few days but in the meantime I will give in to the pain. It goes against everything I want but for once I will accept that I need to rest so that I will actually be capable of getting back up and running once my leg has had a chance to heal and is finally brace free. Here’s hoping that the spoon supply picks up soon but in the mean time if anyone wants me I will be in bed with a good book or ten!
The nature of breakthrough pain is that it appears from no-where, often for no apparent reason and is very hard to get rid of. For me, this time it was very much focused in my right leg, hip and ankle to be specific in combination with the joyful existing pain from the bruising, swelling and 8” gash over my knee. In addition, the wonderful nerve pain was still being determinedly aggressive. All of this made for a very miserable and sleep free Sunday night followed by a full day of mental numbness Monday. Monday night went a little better in that between the two hourly painful wakeup call from my leg I did actually manage to sleep. However I am yet again ensconced in a dulled cocoon of pain and mental sluggishness.
As set-backs go this is far from unexpected but it is certainly not fun, hopefully the pain will soon be back in check and I will once again be desperately willing my leg back to health and stability. Until then I guess all I can do is lie back and be content with the brain fog and numb acceptance. I guess, being realistic, this may be my body’s way of convincing me to stop being so hard on myself. The truth is that regardless of how much I want the next few weeks to be over my body can only heal at its own rate. I may not have done anything to cause this particular flare up and I may see it as being a set-back but the reality is my body is giving me a reminder that patience is the only option right now.
On the bright side, while I am unable to get around right now I have at least got pretty much everything I could need right by my side.
Sometimes a little foresight can make life just a little bit easier. I don’t hold out much hope that I will be able to get back up and around in the next few days but in the meantime I will give in to the pain. It goes against everything I want but for once I will accept that I need to rest so that I will actually be capable of getting back up and running once my leg has had a chance to heal and is finally brace free. Here’s hoping that the spoon supply picks up soon but in the mean time if anyone wants me I will be in bed with a good book or ten!
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